We are like magnets to men who are broken into pieces. And for some reason, we feel that we have to pick them up piece by piece. But I have to admit, I`ve never succeeded in that.

I never gave myself a chance to think about my motivation. Instead of asking why I feel it`s my duty to pick someone up, I rushed to their aid without thinking. I didn`t know that I wasn`t important to him.

The problem why I appealed to such men was that I believed I could save them.

We think we will become the woman who changes him. We think we can turn the unfaithful into faithful. We think we can help him stop using drugs or alcohol. We believe we can convince him not to fear serious relationships. We believe we can make him forget his heavy past.

We appeal to such men because we believe we are necessary to them. And leaving them would be selfish and cruel.

The sad truth is that we constantly blame ourselves for them not changing. Every time they leave us, we think we are to blame. And they keep us around even though they can`t offer us anything.

We look for the reason in ourselves, trying to understand what`s wrong. But it`s like rowing a boat that`s stuck on a sandbar – pointless.

I think the reason why we appeal to such men who need fixing is that thanks to them we can understand this truth. The truth that being selfish is normal.

These men point out to us what we need to develop in ourselves. We urgently need to start loving ourselves. We need to understand that a man`s happiness is not our responsibility. We deserve to meet a man who doesn`t need fixing. When we realize that we are not responsible for men`s problems, we can walk past those who can`t handle them.

Because a man who is worthy of being loved will never allow a woman to solve his problems.

Therefore, I say to you the same as I said to myself: stop suffering for pitiful people. Focus on yourself and choose a worthy man.

Save not the man, but yourself. I know it`s hard to suppress the habit, but you have to do the following:
Identify all types of such men: their signs, characteristics, behavior - you know it all by heart. As soon as you feel that such a type is in front of you - run away from him.

Ask the right questions: Before asking “How can I help him?”, ask: “How can I help myself?” Don`t do yourself harm.

Listen to your intuition. Your inner voice always knows when something is wrong. The wrong man can never be changed by anything or anyone, only by himself.

Remember who you are. Know what you deserve. Learn to love yourself. Then you will never try to fix another, because you will know that in this process you yourself will suffer.

Don`t hate such men. Thank them for helping you understand that it`s time to change. That it`s time to change yourself, that only you are responsible for your problems and your happiness. Thanks to them, we understood that it`s normal - to be reasonably selfish.