And it turns out that the young mother does not want to sit at home with the child for too long, because she wants to build a career. And what thought comes to mind first? Of course, you can leave the child with grandma. But is it necessary?

Does a child need grandma?

In our country there are clear rules that grandmas are supposed to take care of any grandchildren. This means grandma drops everything and devotes herself to grandchildren. And that's not bad at all, but only if grandma herself wants it. There are women who retire and dream of babysitting grandchildren. But not all women...

Modern grandma – a woman from 40 to 60 years old, whom you wouldn't call old. She has work and hobbies, she is active and energetic. The woman has raised children, freed herself from worries and is just starting to live for herself. Or she is already retired and has her day planned minute by minute: constant yoga during the day, theater with friends in the evening, trip to Spain next week.

Modern grandma enjoys every moment of life because she has the opportunity. And then children say she has to give up everything and devote herself to her grandchild. And often such a demand doesn't sound like a request. Children are selfish, they decide for their mother what to do and try to subordinate her to their family's interests. At the same time they don't even try to find out what mom wants.

It is considered that only grandma is selfish because she doesn't want to sit with the grandchild. Many grandmas, despite their wishes, drop everything and devote themselves to their grandchild. But can grandma refuse such a request without feeling guilty and criticism? Let's try to figure it out.

All young parents need to understand one simple thing: those who decided to give him life are responsible for the child's care. If you want a child, you should immediately consider who will sit with him and whether you can do it yourself.

Even knowing that grandparents will gladly take on raising the grandchild, don't take it as their duty and certainly don't rely on it completely. After all, you gave birth to a child for yourself, not for grandma.

In reality, your parents shouldn't sacrifice themselves for their children. They can, but they shouldn't. You can always rely on them in emergencies, they will definitely not leave you or grandchildren in trouble, but it's more of a bonus, a gift, not an obligation.

Young parents complain that at first grandmas promise to help, and after the child is born their position changes radically: they can't, they get tired, they have to work. As a result children get offended, conflicts arise. But in the end grandparents' circumstances can change too.

They are free people, perhaps suddenly they will find a job or an exciting romance will enter their hearts. Or it simply turns out they no longer have so much strength to sit with the grandchild. After all, it's hard work.

In any case, no matter what grandparents promised their children, they always have the right to change their minds. Therefore you should think in advance how to cope without their daily help. And grandmas, in turn, should indicate permissible boundaries. You don't have to promise more than you want and can do. Better to promise less, then help above the promised will be accepted as a gift.

It's clear that this doesn't apply to all families. There are grandmas who are happy to sit with the grandchild, and then grandchildren become the main joy of life, even meaning. This is a completely acceptable situation, the main thing is that both sides agree. Sometimes there is simply no other way out. For example in families where only the mother raises the child.

Grandma is an important family member, children should communicate with her and vice versa. Grandma will share wisdom with children, and children will fill grandma's life with joy and fun. But she is not a free nanny, that's what you need to remember. She will take care of children in the best way: feed them properly, buy a new interesting toy, tell an interesting story, take them to the sea, but all this should be voluntary.

Your parents don't live only for your sake, and you don't have to put your life on the altar for children either. And you, your parents and even children need to understand one important thing: none of you has an obligation to do something just out of a sense of duty and sacrifice everything for someone's sake. If you understand this simple thing, life will become easier, and relationships with loved ones will be much better.

And what do you think about this? Tell us in the comments!